Not so long ago, one of my sisters in Christ shared a testimony that reminded me how powerful it can be when a husband seeks Christ’s direction and his wife walks alongside him in faith. For those of us who are God-fearing wives, we understand there’s a divine order to things. You can unclench your jaw and relax your breathing, because I’m not here to talk about submission today, lol. But the Lord has been dealing with me lately about prioritizing my first ministry: my family.
My family is young. We’ve been married for only four years, and we have an 18-month-old son. Anyone else who’s been in this space knows how challenging it can be on all fronts. I’ve learned that leaving and cleaving, two becoming one, can take years. There’s always something new to learn about your spouse and another adjustment to make so things can flow well. And then you add a baby to the mix, and that shakes everything up.
I find that in this phase, there’s even more to learn about yourself and your spouse, all while learning how to care for a child and juggling career, ministry, health, vacations, self-care, friendships, family, and life. When you’re in it, you don’t always realize how much you’re carrying. But when you take a step back, you see you’ve been running on all cylinders.
And then, in the midst of all that, the unexpected happens: the death of a close relative, a health condition, a layoff, a major car repair, a major home repair, an accident. We’ve had our fair share of some of those things in this season. But God is showing me that He can use these moments to make us pause and see things from a different perspective. My head was down, and I was plowing through life, trying to balance everything. Then, in just 24 hours, things looked forever different.
It’s become a running joke with myself, but I’m always asking God what He wants to teach me in each season. And what God has been showing me, vividly, is that I need to pour into my family.
“Hey, wake up, Britt. Your husband just experienced a major loss and needs you in a different way right now. And your son is growing rapidly; he needs you in a different way, too. You have the capacity. Just shift some things. I’ll show you.”
I think sometimes that’s what we miss, or at least what I miss. Especially those of us who serve in ministry. I’ll speak for myself: I’ve struggled with this. God has shown me that I can’t be so focused on serving others or supporting an auxiliary at church that I miss where I’m needed most: at home with my family.
My son will only be this little once. My husband will only be freshly grieving the loss of his father for a short window of time. This is just a season. There will be a time when I shift again and things look different.
One of the biggest blessings in this season has been having leaders who encourage and understand that family comes first. There’s no pressure to take on more than I can handle. I feel supported as I make room for what my family needs from me right now.
Caring for the people God entrusted to me is ministry, too. So in this season, I’m choosing to be present with my family. Sometimes that looks like spending a weekend away together or taking a day off work to take Preston to his first town fair. I’m learning to trust God to guide my priorities and give myself grace as I figure out what that looks like.
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